Many people have been asking me why i sold my precious Iphone,well,its because of one bad day,in a bad taxi,seated next 2 bad gals(and i dont mean bad in good way,but the real bad of evil-kinda bad)
When i entered the taxi on that fatefull day,the only seat available was the one at the back right next some giggly gals who had used white sadolin paint instead of make up-didnt know paint was cheaper than make up..but anyways thats besides the point...
Once i sat i courteously said hello...OMG u should have seen there facial expressions,they looked me up n down n just giggled some inaudible nonsense to themselves. The bu little monsters must have thought i was hitting on them..
Like as if i hit on gals,the gals hit on me...wink!
I sat there,looking out of the window and with nation building thoughts streaming through my head..when the nation building thoughts suddenly started to stream less and less.i was perplexed,what the deuce dared interrupt my trend of thought.
Then i the thoughts disappeared all together and i started hearing a slight tingle from the depth of my brain,that developed into a slight banging,then clanging and then a cacophony of a thousand devils banging at a church bells.I felt my sphincter muscles clench and felt like slitting my throat.
I looked around to see what might be the cause of all this disturbance.Lo n behold,the bu two gals were screaming into their phones.
One was calling one of her male friends for plot and asking him if he has a car to pick them up and take them out for the night?When she hang up,she complained that the ka boy didnt have a car that night and she went ahead to beep another who called back after 5min..the conversation went like this:
"Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla!"
She didnt care who heard, she must have thought that the whole cosmos rotated around her fuzzy backside.
"So that was the source of the thousand devils in my head banging at church bells...hmmmmm." I thought to myself
I thought of paying them to alight from the taxi,but that had one big flaw; it would have involved me having a conversation with them. AND THAT WASN'T going to happen.
"Tienes sin cojones",a Spanish lumpen would have screamed,but i would rather have endured that insult that talk to this lot.(Oh! By-the-way,"Tienes sin cojones" means "You have got no balls")
The "Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla! Bla!" would have been bearable hadnt it been for their phony accents.Every single syllable was turned,churned n twisted and spat out like shit from a diarrheating ass..the queen would have cursed her ancestors for having sent missionaries to teach these barbarians her language only to defile it beyond recognition.
The last straw came when one of them told her friend that she doesn't what this Facebook thing is all about ,that she doesn't know how to find her way round it..
!@#*$^???, Even my parents know how to use Facebook, what right do these have NOT to know.
So i did what I always do when i want to block out any nonsense,i plugged in my crisp clean white ear phones and turned up the volume of my iPhone.
I keep my earphones crisp clean white so that anyone who sees me approaching,be it in the dark,sand storm or under water (Oh yes,mine are water proof)can see the earphones glimmer from afar and know that this guys has "plugged-in" n doesn't wana know your crap.
As i swiped n swiped some more on my phone one of the gals tapped her friend and pointed towards my phone. But at that moment,i didnt care coz i was plugged-in n didnt wana know.
Even if Col.Otafiire had miraculously won the gold medal in figure skating at the winter Olympics,i just DIDN'T WANA KNOW.
Then something happened,that had never happened before. Something of APOCALYPTIC proportions.One of the gals tapped me, she actually had the nerve to actually tap me when i was plugged-in.
I was dazed and took some time to master the strength n courage to "unplug" my earphones and hear she had to say.
The gal pointed at my phone and asked to have a look at it. I wanted to tell her,
"Bitch this thing can pay your tuition for next sem,so paws off". but as stated earlier,i wasn't in any mood to talk to them so I handed over the gadget.
Then the gals got excited n gittery like a pedophile in a kindergarten and asked silly questions like;
"Is this the iphone"
"Wama is it a double line"?
I would have burst out laughing hadnt my energy been sapped out by there mere proximity to me..Gag!!
They took snaps of their bu clown faces using the camera n it must been screaming;
"Not enough resolution to take this picture"..
But thats why i love Steve Job,he foresaw that clowns like these might do Maalo on it so he inserted an anti-unatractiphobic chip (unatractiphobia is the fear of ugliness) so it managed to soldier on.
But the phone was never to be the same again,the scars of that battle were never to be healed
Well,i had to eventually sell my phone,it had gone thruogh too much torture and every time i looked at it,i couldnt bring myself to terms with having put it through all that torture
