Welcome to Atlanta remix-Mbarara style

This is a rendition of "Welcome to Atlanta" by JD and Ludacris

ORIGINAL

Welcome to Atlanta where the players play

And we ride on dem thangs like ev-ery day

Big beats, hit streets, see gangsters roamin

And parties dont stop 'til eight in the mo'nin

REMIX

Welcome to Mbarara where we the rustlers rustle,

Where we ride dem cattle like everyday,

Big hips,small waists,see the honies roaming

Where dont stop milking dem cows till eight in the morning"

if that aint a BAD-ASS remix then dont know wat is.

It should be used as song by LC5 candidate for Mbarara like how Sevo came up with "U want another wrap"

Observatory:Writer's Block

I have got a Writer's Block. Want to know what that is,well just read along...

Its like running to the loo coz ur bowels are about to explode. You leave your seat as things threaten to come out.You run down the corridor,to the back of the office block,up the mettalic stairs,then run the length of the entire first floor corridor to the now famous loos (I have never figured why they put the loos upstairs, so dont ask). You find all the gents occupied and cross ur legs and start to jump up n down on one leg-dont ask me how thats done.

You wait for another 10seconds and think,

"Screw it let me head to the ladies".

You run into the ladies and bump into your Human Resource manager as she is getting out. You ignore her bemused stare and dart into the first cubicle thats open so that you can do do ur THANG.

Then as you have placed your heavy laden bricks on the seat u anticipate something epic to go down -World War kinda epic; with Allied soldiers jumping from trench to trench while shooting at the bloody Nazis. Or,for the jungle folks like yourselves, u can liken it to a legion of red ass male baboons during the mating season swinging from tree to tree  while chasing n fighting for the only female within a 100km radius. Forget the image of the baboons - i know its caught your attention,but please get it outa ur heads.

The point here  was I going to the toilet and expecting something epic but nara "shit going down"-literally.

You gather all the air from your lungs and summon all demons within your intestines for a HUMONGOUS push....

.........And all you get is a 5second passing of wind... 

Sorry that wasnt the point either.The point here was that I "The Anonymous Observer" have alot of things to write about, but all that am passing out is,well as you read, alot of wind.


If you never knew wat a writer's block is,now u know..and yes your all welcome. I think i need to go toilet and it might take a while..so laters

Anonymous Release

Having searched for her hundreds and thousands of times in the chaos,

suddenly, I turned by chance, to where the lights were waning, and there she stood

Too timid to come to me.

So i walked to her and gently touched her.

I gently caressed her curves  and gently nibbled at some.

Then like a man possessed i carried her to my room and locked the door.

Once closed, I immediately placed my mouth on her

And as i did,I hurriedly took off my shirt.

the heat was on.

My skin became moist as my blood flowed.

Muscles contracted,

Eyes dilated, 

Fists clenched,

As I held her curves and i readied for the inevitable RELEASE....

And then I RELEASED!!

I released all my mental faculty into the Bic pen whose curves i held

And wrote on the paper that was on the table

For the feminine in you

Girl had big beautiful brown eyes that Boy could have stared at for hours on end Each time that he blinked, he felt that  he was missing out on something.

Girl always found it weird that he ogled at her, but hey, which girl didn’t want a bit of attention.

He loved the attention that she gave him, the motherly tenderness that she offered. He had never had this from his mother.

They loved each other’s company and did many things together.

He knew that she was one of one in a million. But deep down he had one fear and one fear only, that he might one day lose her. This made him insecure, and at times ask himself, “What’s the point if I will one day lose her; what’s the point to dig in this garden, only for someone else to bear the fruit.”

But he did his best to put a smile on her face whenever he saw her, coz her joy was his reward.

He knew that telling her that he loved her might ruin their friendship, but couldn’t bear concealing his feelings.

……………………………….

The rain fell hard and Girl heard someone call her name from the crowd of students just off the bus. She turned back and saw Boy making his way through the crowd, following her into the rain.

"Hey, listen ok. Look I know that I made the wrong choice about telling you that I...love you....but I had to know if you felt the same way?" Boy stammered. Girl stopped walking, "Look!" she turned around and faced him, "All I ask of u is that we stay friends-if that’s even still possible-given the way u have made a mess of it! I don’t want no drama. You and I can't be more than what we are." She yelled, tears came falling from her eyes. Boy made his way to Girl and tried to hold her arm,

"I just love you!...And deep down u also know that you have feelings for me. You are just afraid to love me back".

Her eyes for the first time betrayed the deep emotions that she had for him all along. Eyes filled with love imprisoned in the dark abyss of fear. She was motionless for second as she choked on what to say next.

"LET GO!" Girl pushed him, and Boy felt pain on his right cheek, she had slapped him - in public. "Respect the fact I don't like u in that way. Besides am not that special to u since u have many gals who like u." She had just betrayed herself again.Her voice was beginning to break up, she was crying real hard, but the rain muted her sobs and washed away her tears. Girl turned her back on Boy and ran away.

Boy wanted to go after her but all he could do was watch her as she went further and further away. As Girl reached the sidewalk near her house, she felt pain on her left chest, her heart was aching. She couldn't breath. She placed her hand just at the place of her heart and tried to massage her chest, "It's ok, you can do it...just a few steps and...Ughr" She took a deep breath and started walking again, slowly, but her knees felt weak, she can't move anymore and that caused her to fall on the ground. Her sister got out the house eventually and helped her to stand up.

……………………………………………………………….

Boy stood at the entrance of the door to Girl’s hospital room for a long time.He saw that there was an empty vase next to her bed and dashed to the hospital shop to try and get her flowers that to fill the vase. Sadly they had run out of flowers, but he didn’t want to go back empty handed. He bought a big card with flowers on it. He saw a perfume that was on display at the entrance and got an idea. He waited for the shop keeper to turn his back on him sprayed the card with the perfume before briskly running out.

If she cant have scented flowers, then il create them. He thought to himself.

He raced back to Girl’s room and she was still fast asleep like a baby. She looked so peaceful like the world was waiting for her to wake up – and if the world was him, then yes, it was waiting for her to wake up. He carefully placed the scented card right on top of  the vase.

“Hey Boy”, Girl whispered. He was shocked and nearly knocked the vase down. “Thought u were asleep”, he replied.

“I have been awake. I saw u when u stood at the door. I figured u were staring at me as u always did” she give a sly smile that made him blush. “But when u went away, my heart sank and I thought that would never come back.” Her voice started to crack as she sniffed and tried to hold back the tears.

“Many people have come to visit me, but I kept looking beyond there shoulders in the hope of seeing u behind them.” She now started to cry and held her hand and told him amidst the sobs, “Please don’t leave me coz I love u too”

He knelt besides the bed, clasped both her hands in his; kissed them and said, “I will never leave u”

Anonymous memoirs of a man on a journey

I have climbed many a hill;

Trekked through the belly of darkness itself;

Have trodden the flattest of plains and descended the steepest of slopes

But at the place where I stand now, they all take a bow

Mortal minds fathom not;

Nor can words describe;

Nor ear perceive;

Nor eye penetrate the splendor that i now see.

But I dare not break into a song, lest i linger long

For my journey is long,

And I am still far.. FAR AWAY from home.

Prisoner loving.."I wana love ya Mr. Prisoner"

As a prison warden he had seen and heard many sad tales that had left his heart numb;tales of a man on death row for a murder that he didnt commit;of men being at the wrong time of a robbery and locked up just because fate dealt them a wrong hand;of mothers imprisoned and separated from their children and only seeing them grow up in pictures that they were sent.So many stories that he had made him become numb to many emotions.

However his humanity was brought back to him when he had been told that he was to escort a prisoner serving a life-sentence, who had been given a special one days pass.The prisoner had been convicted falsely of aggravated robbery.His crime was that he had stolen from his rich employer.

The crime itself had been light and he could have gone away with a much less punishment, but the rich man concocted the evidence, hustled and blackmailed the judge into giving him a more severe sentence.
The trial had stirred up so much media attention;his childhood sweet heart had seen all the hype and publicity that  had gone with the trial and had written to him;had visited him in prison and even proposed to him to marry her.

The affair touched the sentiment of all who heard about it.And there was even small group of people who went to the streets to allow the marriage ceremony to take place.

The authorities eventually caved in and it was the wardens job to escort him for the wedding and make sure he didnt try anything sinister. The prisoner on his way to the church had asked the warden to be his best man as it wouldnt be proper for a wedding to take place without a best man,to which the warden hesitantly obliged.

After exchanging vows,there was a small reception in the old hall next to the church. As it came to a close,the groom whispered to his best man that there was small store room at the back of the hall that he could use to partake of his conjugal rights.The priest didnt object and the warden allowed the prisoner to enjoy his new wife..
He gave them 45 minutes and walked a couple of meters away as the sounds that came from the room made him a bit uncomfortable.The priest just gave him wicked wink..

On the way back to the prison,as the high walls drew near,the warden expected the prisoner to be depressed or to plead for extra time or even try to open the door and run.To the contrary,he sat their smiling, finishing his cigarette,because he knew despite being confined,his heart was elsewhere roaming free with the one that he loved.

At Jezebel's Crossroads

As the emotions are washed away into the sea of numbness, the soul is finally freed

Freed from the four walls of conscience; freed from the shackles of morality.

Free to succumb to the succulence of my wanton thoughts,

And embrace the utterly perverse.

Defying the moral powers that be,

I follow my urges through Hades' rabbit hole

Disregard to Lucifer wanting my soul.  

My brain implodes and my loins explode as I now stand, here, at Jezebel’s crossroad.

She hisses and sneers, but I fail to turn a deaf ear

For simple reason that she also smiles and flirts and to that I adhere.

She plays on my fallible mind, and sluttish thoughts are begot,

Thoughts so lewd, that they would leave a nun's stomach in a knot.

How I long for days yonder when discretion protected my soul

And she cloaked my very being, and preserved me from all things base

But, alas, her role she did abscond

Leaving me here, all alone, as…




My brain implodes and loins explode for i stand at Jezebel's crossroad

M

saved by the bottle (part 1)

I leaned against the stump of the once mighty and sacred Muvule tree. It was a tree that my ancestors had told us never to cut lest an epic tragedy would befall the people of the land. Its stump and trunk now lay there, felled. They were now the only thing that testified that thats where my house once stood.

It had many memories;memories that now i held dear,yet they brought a heaviness to my heart that made my soul sink like lead...Dont know why, but i held onto the bottle that i had run out with from the bar..the bottle that had saved my now wretched life.

"Go drown yourself in your bottle if u think it will save you "...

Those were the last words that Alice-my wife- had screamed at me as i run into the heavy pouring rain that fateful night.

As life and fate normally do,they had sat down and conspired to amuse themselves by playing the "irony-card" on me..

But the result of this was the furthest thing that could warrant the title of amusement..

I had ran out of my hut after having another of the now re-curring quarrels with Alice.Am not a man to find pleasure in verbal confrontation,especially with Alice(coz she always won) I used it as an excuse to go the Trading centre to drink one or two.Although i must admit,most times there ended up being many more that followed the first and second.But i cared less,as long as it took my mind off the domestic mess in my head courtesy of the fore mentioned.

I had ran threw the pouring rain,with the thunder booming and the lightening flashing menacingly as if warning me of some unknown danger to come. After slipping one-time too many I decided to just wade my way through muddy rivers that now crossed the path;they were like fast moving snakes whose reflections were vivid whenever the lightening flashed.

The rain drops that fell on my forehead rapidly flowed down my face and obscured my view of the path.I constantly had to whip my face to be able to barely see where i was going.I was soaked to my bone marrow.But i was a man on a mission..a mission to drink.

The banana leaves from the plantation through which the path snaked kept weaving with a ferocious intent to fell the banana plants.Like flapping wings the leaves beat against each other making a cacophony of noise.

Strangely enough though,this didn't give me any sense of fear of what might lie in the darkness of the plantation.If anything the noise made me feel like i had company,as if it was loudly whispering its presence and announcing its companionship.

The path then started to slope down into a coffee plantation for a few meters then zig zigged into another banana plantation.

By this point i had lost the sense of my surrounding-probably numbed by the wetness from the rain and my brain being an inferno of rage due to Alice's nagging.

I just couldn't stand Alice whenever she threw a tantrum over every little thing that i didnt do, or that which i did, but didnt do well enough.She had become the proverbial nag that made a husband prefer to sleep on the roof than share a room with her kind...

As my brain huffed n puffed...I heard footsteps running behind me...

Anonymous thoughts

I haven't blogged in ages,partly coz work is a draining any bit of creativity that i might have left,but also partly because i feel i have to blog when i have some epic story to share.

but figured what the heck let me just type whatever is in my head and see where if it will make a good read.

About a month ago i moved out of my parents house to my own swanky crib,which i share with a friend of mine.At first i felt like a fish out of the sea,but right now would yawn at the idea of going back to my parents'.The bachelor life is fun,with all the junk fast foods for supper and works.

I now don't have to worry about where to rendezvous with my numerous girlfriends as i have upgraded from cranky single-bed dingy lodges to my own double bed mazongoto(But those details are not to be published on this forum)

Many of the females are now asking if am willing to throw for them a "One-on-one house warming" for them.Its amazing how girls look at me different when I tell them that I have my own crib; they look at me as if I have all of a sudden developed gigantic balls - or something.I will have to buy bigger boxers that will accommodate them

Part 4

She danced slowly and sensually. For some reason she always liked dancing beneath the disco ball. Guess so that it would illuminate her light smooth skin that always contrasted the dark outfits that she wore(I swear you could pour milk on her skin and it would come out white on the other side ) She liked dancing solo, throwing her hands gently in the air – in the manner of her Rwandese tradition dance. And if u were lucky enough to have her dance with you, when the time came for her to “drop it like its hot”, she would twist and turn like a leaf dropping gently from a tree; feeling her own body as she rubbed against yours. Am telling you, she made dirty dancing look angelic.

Damn! And here I was watching her pleasuring Mike on the dance floor. She very well knew how much I liked it whenever she did to me what she was now doing to Mike a few meters away from me.

At this moment I so needed a distraction, some nymph to come and bump and grind with to halt my boiling envy at the spectacle in front of me. The only nymph that I could think of at the time was Smirnoff. She was always ready to meet my twisted caprices. Well, sadly when I her to my mouth I only sucked on air. My tongue licked the inner brim to confirm no contents….

“What the…?”

I needed a joint to tranquilize my nerves. So I turned to Pierre, whom I had entrusted with my stash- BIG MISTAKE.

“Pierre, Pierre”, I called out. I turned round to behold big red eyes staring back at me…

“Gwe dude, told you to keep the weed, not to smoke all of it. Hope that you have some left for me?”

He smiled sheepishly and I knew the bugger had smoked it all.

“I just couldn’t resist man”, Pierre blurred out.

“Your brain cells are going to get fried one of these days man.”

I badly needed a testosterone rush. And when I saw the girl who had sat on my lap earlier (check Part 2) chatting with one of the UFASD girls (United Front Against Soft Drinks (check part 1)); I smelt opportunity screaming out to me,

“Come get me Baby, if you have the balls”.

“No one insults my manhood and gets away with it”, I thought to myself

So I got some mint out of my pocket and stuffed it in my mouth. Then I swung my way swaggerliscious self over to their table…

(TO BE CONTINUED)