INTERLUDE

Am of the view that exes can’t be, shouldn’t and don’t have to be friends.
Its loads of elephant dung if u asked me (I know u didn’t ask me, but who frags?)

The dic defines ex as;
Adjective
1. out of fashion
Noun
2. term to define someone’s former, partner, lover...blablabla!

But in IT lingual it’s closest to the “.exe” filename extension which means EXECUTABLE.

The fore runners of IT dem days related this to ex’s, coz all ex’s can be and should be EXECUTED.Implying that, for all I care u can execute the good for nothing whoring bitch. You could take her to the guillotine and behead the sucker and I would not even flinch an inch (I just rhymed).

Actually I would gladly hold the basket into which the head is to roll. I would savour every drop of blood that would splash onto my face as a result, and I wouldnt wash it off for days. I would tell everyone who cared to listen (even if u didn’t care to listen I would force it down your thick ear drums) the reason for my blood stained face.

“This is the blood of the executable. She thought she had the last laugh, but now her blood sinks ever so quickly into the soil, right into the chambers of Jezebel’s Hades from whence gazillions of other blood sucking nymphs are bred”.

And for emphasis don’t forget to swirl up some nasty mucus-ish saliva and spitting on the ground right next to the listener’s foot. Trust me, he will get the point.

And catch this, when I do decide to wash off the filth, I will drink the water I have used. I’ll then get onto a bus to her ancestral home with my heavy laden bladder and then piss all over the ex’s white washed grave stone while shouting
“R.I.P….Rest In my Piss”

BWAHAHA! BWAHAHA! BWAHAHA! (Evil laugh)

I know, its such a sweet send off, you don’t have to tell me…


By-the-way, don’t get me twisted, I loved all my 6½ exes, thanks to them I lost my mother given innocence in dark alleys, amidst bushes and hedges, behind big scary trees, dingy store rooms and smelly toilets(am getting nostalgic), not to mention in their father’s houses-those witches. And all of them have contributed to creating this awesome, kickass son of a gun, whose blog u so love…

Anyway, am of the view that exes can only be friends if

1. The loser who was dumped gets someone way better than the ex. This makes the dumpee get over her quickly. He would be friends with the dumper just to spite her, and without words taunt her,“I was doing you a bloody favour, but all along I could do better”

2. If both get someone not as good as the ex. That way both end up losers, a stalemate of sorts, a 0-0 score line…pathetic

3. Last but not least, if the ex gets knocked by a boda boda and gets a limp amputated. There human empathy would kick in. Note; If knocked by 2009 Merc or BMW it doesn’t count, coz in most cases the driver will most probably be able to afford the bill in a fancy hospital with doctors and nurses way cooler than the dumpee, which is just down right unfair.

Apart from these reasons, ex’s should never, EVER be friends, If you as much as smile at your ex, I will come at you like the evil monkey in Chris Griffin’s closet (Family Guy) and shove something nasty up that thing your sitting on….